6-Pack Ponderings

Deep thoughts from the lighter side of the forum

Online British car forums are indispensable. The conversations not only help with fixes, they also build community. Oh, and they can be pretty hilarious too.

Ken Dolhonde

Ken and Marla Harris

Jim Herter

Lou Mijares

Keith Norrie

Tom Fremont

Tad McDonald

lfmTR4 — aka Lou Mijares

I am seeking to understand why some of you have named your cars after a guy or refer to it as a he? We named ours early on as Lilred (sounds better than Little Red Bastard) but she’s always been a she. Oh by the way, a female can be a bastard too.

To my son Michael and I it was clear from the beginning what we were dealing with. From the subtle hints of problems that, if left unattended, festered until all hell broke loose, to the temperamental mood swings, to the constant need for attention and propensity for shiny stuff. The messing with your mind in the middle-of-night runs. The just the right amount of adjustment needed—too rich and too lean is just a 1/4 turn away, like those two degrees on the thermostat battleground. I bet some of you can think of more examples, but I’ll leave it there.

The sun came out this afternoon and the weather dictated that Michael and I take her take her out for a proper ride to keep the fluids in all the right places and the rubber from getting flat sided. We took her out on the town for some Honky Tonkin’. Treated her a little rough, but she sorta likes that every now and then. She loves going topless in the cool weather and runs like a dream.

So ’splain away fellas, inquiring minds want to know.

Poolboy — aka Ken Dolhonde

I guess it’s the ruggedness of the TR6 that makes me think masculine. I’m trying to think of a sportscar that I’ve owned that wasn’t. Maybe the P1800 Volvo. Neither of the Jaguars, they were just too rambunctious. The Bugeye Sprite could go either way; rugged too, but it was sure cute. The Porsche…no way that was a fräulein. So I guess it would come down to a Sprite and a Volvo that had some feminine tendencies, at least while I had them.

Doug Nelson

My car is definitely a she. Her official name is Guinevere but I call her Gweny for short. She is faithful, beautiful and sweet. She’s never left me stranded and has always gotten me home safely. I know she is a female because once a month her spotting increases for several days.

Whooshka — aka Chuck LaBarbera

My wife would not approve of me spending so much time with another woman. So it’s me and my proper British friend in the garage only…

He answers to Winston.

A Brit in Bama —aka Keith Norrie

Well…as you know Lou, my car, Trevor, is male. He just is. I think it comes down to the angular lines and the chopped Kamm tail, which are not in the least bit feminine.

Trevor is definitely a fun-loving, beer-swilling, rugby-playing, woman-chasing scamp, eager to go out in all temperatures, and (after his recent 6-month stint in rehab) ready for a good time at the drop of a hat.

RatRidgeRoadster — aka Jim Herter

My car is not gender specific, It’s a machine… a well oiled machine that sometimes purrs like a kitten and at other times roars like a lion. At a glance I can’t really detect the gender of a cat so I must maintain that it’s just a machine, and a fine machine it is. Some would say it runs like a sewing machine and I don’t know of them having a gender identity, so I still maintain it’s just a machine.

I usually just call it the Ol’ TR.

Tadmcd — aka Tad McDonald

PD is, of course, a fellow of some repute, direct offspring of PD Eastman, creator of probably the greatest sports car tome ever inked and illustrated: “Go Dog, GO!”

My BBQ is named Bugsy for “Back Up Grill System – Yard” (truthfully, I wanted to name it Danica cuz it’s on wheels and is way, way hot…but my brother-in-law named it Bugsy and I didn’t have the heart to break his little heart since he was very drunk at the time and seemed pleased as punch).

Speaking of my brother-in-law, he has one of those bullet heaters in his garage named Bennie P. Shaboom (I can’t for the life of me remember why). It’s got P.I.S.A.S. “Pre-ignition Start Alert System”…essentially an old bicycle bell and rubber horn we sound prior to turning it on; anything within 10 feet of its business end would otherwise receive an unwelcome surprise.

My boat is, of course, a gal, named for my mom and her mom. Plus, I mean, boats are gals. It’s one of those universal rule things.

My daughter’s nickname is “Fred” which is pretty funny when you think about it (well, you wouldn’t, but I do) because she married a guy whose name is Fred[erick]. Works well when I shout, “Hey Fred. Can you grab me a beer next time you’re up?” Always seems someone named Fred drops one by my chair.

SCMCGO — aka Scott McGowan

IMHO, anything that:

Needs to be washed twice a day / Gets covered up tightly at night / Requires a good rubdown / Begs for attention, even when a great ball game is on TV / Is pleasing to the eye / Purrs like a kitten when tuned properly / Insists on being taken out on Friday night / Doesn’t like being wet / And, requires occasional servicing …

Has got to be FEMALE!

Ima68tr — aka Tom Fremont

Mine are Valley Girl (driver, so named for the trip to Monument Valley in ’09) and Jaqueline the Ripper (concours car, named after my mother, and for how she gets down the road).

In fact I never think of them in terms of gender, but as faithful toys that give back in spades what I’ve put into them.

Tr6harris — aka Ken Harris

I guess my wife should answer since she named the car way back when. I think she told me she named it as “Mr. T”, basically short for Mr. TR6. In my experience the moniker certainly fits.

Tenacious – when it runs well. Cruises when we want it to, and attacks upon command.

Temperamental – when things aren’t quite right, and it will not let you off until it is.

Terrier – Like those dogs that are small but don’t think or act like they are.

Tough – The little engine is. It’ll run with fuel, spark, and time anywhere near. Maybe not well, but it’ll run and will tear itself up before it quits…(amazing).

Mr. T certainly fits our car….

Litespud — aka Dave Carroll

Nigel – as in “Chocks Away, Nigel!!!” Clearly a bloke—drinks too much, farts in the morning, still acts like he’s a sprightly youth, despite being, in reality, a rather creaky 41 year old. It was the most British name my girls could come up with. Since I was spending their college fund on it, I thought they should have naming rights.

Tush

Definitely Female…I often give my cars a little pat on the dash when they get me home safely after a trip (particularily a longer one), or have got me through some bad weather (coming home from Townsend, TN after a TRials comes to mind). Of course, the little pat is usually accompanied with a “that’s my girl” type comment…

Plumcrazy — aka Craig Bentley

I really don’t know. Doesn’t have a name. I looked under the tail for any positively identifying features, didn’t find anything. It burps, farts, complains and sometimes does some very irrational things (drives too fast, takes chances, runs with scissors). I hope it’s a dude cuz with some of the names I’ve called it I’m going to hell if it’s a she…

Rellic — aka Brian Tomlinson

“She” is a thing of beauty, a pleasure to look at, drawing smiles of admiration from men, women and children. “She” tempts onlookers to touch Her, “She” handles the road like a dancer on Her toes floating gracefully to the sound of her own distinct Symphony of Cylinders.

I cannot describe the ’67 Malibu SS 396 4-gear the same way as it growls, snarls, barks and pulls itself along the road desperately hanging on to the corners by sheer brute force and ignorance. The Malibu is one hell of a Car but “It” shuffles to a different tune.

I equate grace to be feminine and force to be masculine. To me our TR is a very graceful ride.

Rfweidner — aka Ray Weidner

My car has no sex…but thank God I still do!

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